7 Practices that strengthened our marriage!
Hi my loves! Happy Love Day! Before I get into this post I wanted to share some quick reminders with you: You are loved. You are special. You are uniquely made. You are valuable, precious, and worthy. Whether you celebrate this day or not, please never forget just how amazing you are.
So my husband and I have been married for 12 years! OMG it will be 13 this year! Whenever I verbalize that truth I am still in awe! It has definitely been a for better or for worse type of relationship.
We got married when we were 21. We were young and in love! We had our daughter shortly after at age 22. Everything was peaches and cream (organic of course)! But then life happened. We started experiencing some valley moments. And the person that I loved more than green juice (I really love green juice), started to simply get on my nerves!
I thought when you got married you just drove off into unicorn world! Or Disney world! Or some kind of fantasy world! I started remembering the little nuggets my dad, mom, and grand-mom would share. Some of which included: Don’t stop loving your husband, pray for him, don’t be so feisty, some arguments are not worth it, don’t stay angry. Those nuggets started to really sink in.
Lovely ones don’t get me wrong, marriage is an amazing journey, and it can certainly be one of the most beautiful experiences ever. BUT, marriage is intentional, it’s selfless, it’s loving unconditionally, it’s forgiveness, it’s grace, and it’s a wholehearted commitment.
My husband and I are best friends. We share pretty much everything that’s on our hearts. We laugh, we cry, we are constantly building. But most of all, we have chosen to put God first. And our love seems to be renewing and refreshing in every season.
I love him, I am in love with him, and even though at times I want to hold him in an Mma choke, I could have never asked for a better man. A man who is willing to simply be open to becoming the person he was destined to be! He listens to my heart. We connect on so many levels. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and most of all spiritually. Okay, okay, let me stop with the mushy stuff! But seriously guys we are in such a wholesome place. And I am forever grateful. But it took work, effort, dedication and tenacity to get us to this place. And we constantly are working on getting to the best place in our relationship that we could possibly be!
Now I am not a marriage guru, but I wanted to share some valuable practices that contributed to strengthening my marriage and with you guys!
1. Pray together
Even though I pray for my husband and I know he prays for me, when we pray together it just makes such a huge difference in our marriage. We get clarity, peace, and insight on so many things for our marriage when we pray together.
2. Forgive and forget!
So I know we were taught to forgive but not to forget. But that never worked well for us. When you forgive, you have to ask God to help you to place it into the sea of forgetfulness. Just like he does for us. It’s truly about extending grace. Don’t hold grudges. Move past that hurt, and step into wholeness. Try it, it’s not easy, but it works!
3. Remain friends
When my husband and I met we were friends. Like really great friends. But sometimes you tend to forget that as you get deeper into your marriage. It’s important that you continue to be friends. Watch a movie together, just chill, have friend like conversations. This is so powerful, trust me! Remain friends.
4. Keep it spicy!
Yes I said it! I should have written keep it extremely spicy! I feel as though we sometimes get too comfortable in our relationships. And we start neglecting ourselves and our spouse. Now don’t get me wrong, my hubby has seen me in all states, phases and conditions! But I still pop on those heels, my classic red lip, get my skin all dewy (he he), and remind him who he married! It’s ok to get dolled up for your guy! Indulge in romantic activities. And please don’t ever let that fire die!
5. Excessively communicate
Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! About everything. The things that upset you, or hurt you, the little things, the things that are major, the things that are not so major. Excessively communicate. Express how you feel, or how an action or behavior made you feel. Effective and excessive communication is key. Don’t leave any room for assumptions, or questions, or “trying to figure it out”, or anything of that nature. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!
6. Laugh as much as you breathe!
This person is your person. Your best friend. Engage in activities and spaces where you simply laugh as much as you breathe. Make each other laugh too! It’s ok to be silly. It’s ok to joke with each other. I promise you I would be upset with my hubby, and then he would purposely do something silly to make me laugh. And it works! Be light and fluffy. And remember you’re contributing to your health too, because laughter is the best medicine!
7. Date! Date! Date!
Dating has truly contributed to taking our relationship to the next level. Sometimes it’s challenging when you don’t have a sitter to watch your kids. But find ways to make it work. Take time to make time for your relationship. And invest in your relationship too. My husband and I started incorporating day dates when the kids are at school. Whether it’s morning, noon, or night, date, date, date!
So that’s it my loves. Always remember your relationship is tailor made for you. And always do what works best for you and your person. Love hard, embrace and enjoy the journey, stay in love, and commit to making it last for a lifetime.
Leave me a comment below and let me know what practices contribute to strengthening your relationship, or which one of these you think you will start incorporating.
#peace #love #jewelg